Artist

I'm not the greatest artist in the world, nor the greatest visionary. What a relief, really. To just be that artist and visionary that I am. The goof, the intellectual, the ham, the cut up, the mug, the silent searching part, the part that cares so much about what next? All these parts in me to get to experience among, by my own accounting, inward. And it doesn't have to be anything. Doesn't have to last. Doesn't have to prove anything. Just here for another go at life. And every frame of it, something to fill my senses, something to play among, play off of, consider, trip out about.

It's not so hard, really. The hard part is maybe separating the false supposed to's from who I really am, which isn't any supposed to at all. And nothing needs to sustain any particular victory to secure itself into the future. It can all be painted over, torn down, given up on, blanked out. Not that I have to. But that in order for it to stay significant, I'm the one to keep signifying it, preserving it, upholding it, watering it, maintaining it. And it's all optional. With our without certain particulars, life is plentiful, even crashing and burning and failing and missing great opportunities, and being clueless and furrow-browed... it's still all happening, gorgeous even when I'm concentrated down to petty upset. The universe is still this abundant process just outside my door, as well as all in and around me.

It's for that I came again. Not to specialize in some racket of success. But just to be here, in the rain, while the paint peels off, and the weeds have their way, and I'm not working full time, and who knows what's going to happen to our income. I'm here, breathing, making hot chocolate, connecting to life in so many ways. And it just keeps opening. And each moment informs the next.

I've spent 35+ years seriously pursuing the truth that it doesn't have to be so serious. We'll get by. We'll have enough until we don't. We'll sing in the sunshine and then be on our way. And something will show up and appeal to us even in the worst of times, independent of whatever NPR is warning us about.

We can just be happy being, realizing how lucky we are to have ourselves to play with. -And each other. But ourselves first and most importantly to be on good terms with. And then spread that from here.